


Safe With Me

by EzmEmily



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Abusive Ex, Crying, Domestic Violence, Ex husband, F/M, Love, Lucille - Freeform, Negan and you have a playful relationship, Negan fucks shit up, Negan is sweet to you, Panic Attacks, Passing Out, Past Abuse, Past Lovers, Past Rape, Romance, Sex, Torture, Violence, and we all know how Negan feel towards rape and violence to women, click on the pintrest links, negan's wife, you are Negan's sixth wife, you love negan, your the favrioute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-03-01 07:09:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13289694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EzmEmily/pseuds/EzmEmily
Summary: you are Negan's sixth wife. The major difference between you and your fellow sister wives is you have fallen in love with the Devil. But what happens when a demon from your past comes back to haunt you  (WARNING CONTAINS MENTIONS OF PAST RAPE AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE)





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

"What's going on Sherry?"

I asked as I watched from outside the window the gathering crowd at the Sancuary compond  
gates. From the looks of it we had some new recruts, not that some of them looked very willing  
to be entering this place

"Some of the Hilltop group are suppose to be joining us today. I heard some of the guys saying  
that they are joining to settle a debt from the Hilltop leader"

Sherry said not looking up from her book. The other wives did not seem to intersted in what  
was going on outside. Frankie was talking to another wife whose name I kept forgetting and  
Amber was doing what she pretty much did from dawn to dusk. Drink and cry

I turned my attention to the scene that was playing on outside. The men sort of carreled the  
Hilltop members in a circle formation. It was like they were cattle being lined up to go to  
slaughter, I could not help but feel a little sorry for them, it was not going to be easy for some  
of them

As they were packed in tighter I saw the man of the hour, and my husband walk out as proud  
and as confidently as ever, with his ever present bat slug over his shoulder.

He paced in front of the men swinging Lucille around like a baton. I could not hear what he was  
saying, but I guessed it was something on the lines of. *You work for me now, bla, bla I own  
half of your shit, bla, bla, bla. Work for me and I will keep you safe* The usual. I watched him  
walk around the group of men like he was a wolf that was getting the pick of an unguarded flock

Negan pointed his bat at another Savior. He must have been at the who are you part of his  
speech. He did that about three times and each time I watched the lips of the particular Savior  
he pointed at say Negan

After is welcoming speech, if you could call it that, was over. The Hilltop group were slowly being  
lead inside the Sanctuary's main building. Negan held back and watched his new toys walk inside.  
His eyes darted from them and up to me, were I was watching from my window, he gave a big  
crocodile grin up at me. I smiled and waved down to him. His grin grew wider and he waved  
back before blowing me a kiss. For added affect he held the invisible kiss in his hand, like  
it was a ball, he pretended to toss it in the air and as if like when a real ball would come down  
he swung Lucille, knocking up the kiss to me

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/299419075220679158/

I giggled at his exsentrics and plucked the invisible kiss from the air and held it to my lips

Negan gave me a bow before walking back into the Sanctuary walls. No doubt to give the grand  
tour to our new guests

I hopped off the window ledge and started to make way to the door. I was bored and my fellow  
sister wives were not being much fun, and I wanted to get a closer look at our new addistions  
to the Saviors

I slipped off my heels and put on the flats I had. I was not particularity good at walking in them  
at the best of times. I pretty much only wore them when I was here, where there was carpet  
that made it easier to walk in them  
  
Before I could leave out the door. Sherry suddenly spoke up

"Where are you going?" She asked, looking up from her book

"I'm going to take a closer look" I said

"Why?" Amber suddenly said still swigging from her wine bottle. She was pretty drunk to say  
the least

"Because I am bored as hell, and you lot are not exactly talking today"

I huffed, rolling my eyes. It was always the same. When I was here with them they pretty much  
pretended I did not exist. But when I went off to do something on my own, like going to my  
room or going outside for some air. Or hell even just to awnser the call of nature. They all  
suddenly started paying attention

I knew why. It was no secret that Negan favored me alot more than the others and would ask  
for me or spend more time with me more than the others. They were jealous of me

I did not see why. They all, apart from me. Hated him. Sure they made the choice to be with him.  
They could have said no and carried on not being married to him. But they said yes and married  
him. Some had reasons. Sherry, after she and her then husband Dwight had run away with  
Sherry's sister who was sick. It was her sister who was suppose to marry Negan. But Dwight  
broke into the medical supplies and he, his wife and his sister in law ran off. I thought I would  
never see them again, from what I heard they got away scott free. But I was soon proved wrong  
he and Sherry came back with one person less

He begged to Negan, said he was sorry over and over again, I'm pretty sure Negan would have  
killed him there and then if it wern't for Sherry. She pleaded Negan to spare Dwights life, she  
said she would marry him if he did not kill Dwight.

Later that night Sherry married Negan and Dwight got the iron

I had to admit I did sometimes wake in the night in my bed thinking I heard the sounds of  
Dwight's screams echoing down the hallways

Some of the wives had reasons for marring him, and I was not going to judge them for it.  
Some of them did it for selfish reasons. For a carefree life and all they had to do was jump into  
bed with him occasion

My reason for marring him was at first was because of my panic attack episodes. I was  
cleaning the toilets one day and one of my panic fits came on. I slammed up against the wall,  
sunk down and rock back and forth like I was one of the people in a padded room. Before  
I knew it Negan was there talking calmly to me, slowly bringing me out of my episode.  
Witch later I found to be pretty odd. Negan was a man who would bash anyone's brains in  
for crossing him and yet he helped me come though my issues

Later that night he asked me to his room and asked me the important question. He promised  
to look after me and that I would never have to clean toilets again. Pretty much he popped the question  
.So naturaly I said yes

Negan was many things. But he was a pretty good husband to me. He was gentle with me and  
offen asked me to stay with him after sex, wrapping an arm around me, holding me close to  
his chest. I never did feel scared or afraid for my life with him. I felt safe, provided and cared  
for.

That was something I never felt before the world suddenly went to hell

Sherry and Amber stared blankly at me for a moment, before returning to what there were  
doing. Sherry to her book and Amber back to her drink

I skipped out of the door and down the hall, down the stairs till I was on the factory floor. I  
was on the upper level over looking the place were the workers worked. But instead of the  
sounds of working there was a muttering coming from below. I walked over to the railing  
standing next to two Saviors standing gaurd over the crowd below

I scanned the crowd now that I had a better look. I could hear Negan below me. He was  
giving out the options for the newbies. I watched the faces in the crowd turns from scared to  
terrified. Not that I could blame them. I was in their boots one time

I continued to half listen to Negan and looking at all the new faces below me.

Till then I saw something. Something I thought was dead and gone but there it was clear as  
day below me in the front of the crowd

I started to breath heavy, the room began spinning and I was starting to fall backwards as I  
lost grip on the the railing I was holding on to

The last thing before I blacked out. My vision was blurred and my ears were ringing. But I  
could hear and make out Negan over me. I could feel him holding me in his arms. He was  
calling and calling me. I blacked out with Negan franticly calling my name  
\----------------------------------------------------  
I woke up with a start. I bolted up franticly breathing. Like I had just come out of a coma

"Easy Y/N. Easy now nice and steady, you just suffered a nasty knock to the head"

That was Dr Carlson. I must be in his office. I felt him lift me up and place something over my  
mouth

"Take deep slow breaths Y/N nice and slow" Carlson instructed me letting me take hold of the  
oxygen mask over my face

"When you fell back you hit the back of your head. It will be swollen for a bit but there is no  
serious damage"

I remember falling back and my head striking my head on the concrete floor

"He told me you suddenly went pale and fell back"

"He?"

"Negan. He brought you here. He went out for a moment just before you woke up"

"You suffer from panic attacks right Y/N?" Carlson asked

"Yes, that's right"

"Have you ever been in a painc situation and suddenly felt like you were going to faint"

"No. No it was not any panic attack. I... I" I stuttered my words, tears stinging my eyes. I could feel  
my breath becoming short. I gripped the oxygen mask, slamming it over my face again

"Shhh, shh. Nice and slow Y/N. Take your time"

When my breathing was back to normal, I put down the mask and turned to Carlson

"I began to panic because I saw something. Something I hoped was long behind me. I need to  
talk to Negan, please I want to talk to Negan"

No sooner I had said that the door open and in stepped Negan, his eyes locked with mine

"Baby doll your awake. I should have brought you some grapes" he said in his usual joking manner

Tears flooded my eyes and I could feel my breathing coming short again. I doubled over with my  
head in my lap and once again slamming the oxygen mask over my face. Carlson again told me  
over and over to breath slow and breath deep. For the third time my breathing became normal

"Doc, could you leave me alone with her for a while" Negan said

"She wanted to talk to you any way sir, but sure I will"

Carlson left the room and I began to cry. Negan sat next to me

"Take you time doll and tell me what happened. I know that was no fucking panic attack you  
had back there. Hell you look like you saw a damn ghost of something. Before you fell back"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry" I cried

"You have nothing to be sorry about Doll. Tell me. What did you see. I know you saw something"

"You know those new guys from Hilltop. I came down for a closer look and in the crowd. I saw  
someone who I not only thought was dead, but I fucking hoped and prayed was dead"

"Who" asked Negan. Paying close attention

"My husband ....He..oh God. When all this shit started he left me for dead at our house outside the  
city"

Negan's grip on Lucille tightened but he still talked to me utterly calm way

"Could you point him out for me doll. All of a sudden Lucille is feeling very thirsty"

"She'll be even more thirsty when I tell you more of why I passed out when I saw him"

"And what's that doll" he asked intersted

"My husband back there, the man who promised to love me. To have and to hold. Raped me"

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/862861609829116559/

After I said that I had to look away from Negan's gaze, it was like his eyes were a smoldering furnace and  
could burn right though and out the back of my skull. I heard the scrunch of his leather glove grip even  
tighter around Lucille and the low growl in his breath

"Doll. Will you point the fucker out for me"

"I don't want to look at him. I will give you a description but please, please don't make me look at him"

Negan wrapped his arms around me, resting my forehead against his shoulder

"I'm not gonna make you do shit Doll. What does he look like? And I will bash in his head"

"He has dark brown hair, blue eyes but his most defining features are he has a tarantula tattoo on his neck, some  
kind of gang tattoo he has on his back it's some kind of dragon. And he has a faded scar down his face"

Negan listened carefully as I gave him the information to what my ex husband looked like. When I finished  
speaking he rose off the bed

"Ok Doll. I want you to go to your room and relax. I will come and see you later"

I nodded and he gave me a sympathetic half smile before opening the door

"Simon" he called "Tell the Doc to take Y/N to her room and get some of the boys togther, we've got some  
fucker we need to kill"

\--------------------------------------

I lay there curled up on my bed trying hard not to think about both the slight thumping pain in my head and  
my old life with my ex husband. I was thinking about what a stupid lovesick little girl I was, I married that  
monster after just six months of dating. He was one of those men who know how to behave until the ring is  
on the finger. The second that gold band was settled on my forefinger it was like a set of chains bound to him.  
It was all to soon I found out what he was really like, a heavy drinker. I lost count of the many nights he came  
home stinking of cheep beer and whiskey, and sometimes his own vomit.

He was abusive, he beat me for whatever reason or just of take out his bad day on me. Always shoved to the  
ground, kicked and punched till I was back and blue or till I passed out from the pain. Not just savage beatings  
but he burned me with cigarettes, slapped me, scratched me down the face till the point I was spitting out the  
blood that dripped into my mouth. Often he pored bottles of whiskey into my open wounds before walking out  
to go on another bender, leaving me on the floor uncontrollably sobbing slash screaming in pain

but the worst of it all was when he took me by force. His attacks were always random and that is what made it all and that is what made it so terrifying, the fact that any second he could jump me and use me that no human should. I think that's what got him off the most. That I could not fight back or call for help. Just the way his body would  
slid up against mine, my most intimate parts he would bite, the vile repulsive things he would say into my ears. Just thinking about it summoned all my will power to to throw up. It made me wonder how I did not have violent panic attacks when I was with Negan and how I was not put off by the idea of sex 

I don't know when the world ended and the dead started to walk and my ex abandoned me was a blessing or  
a curse. One hand I was spared the day to day abuse from him but on the other a up hill struggle to survive being  
lunch to reanimated corpses. I hid in my house for five months, I avoided the worst that way. I slept in the  
attic encase dead ones found there way into the house. I rationed the food we had left as best I could,  
when that ran out I went and raided the closest neighbors house's for food and suppiles but in the panic, people  
took pretty much everything and very little was left behind

One night I sat in the attic and pondered what I should do. I could not stay here, there was near enough no food,  
the water had been cut off. But I had no place to go

I must have spent a year on the road trying to find some sort of refugee camp or a sealed off army area for  
civillans, but the more I traveled the more I realised is that there was no help, there was no salvation. That  
this was it. Our extinction had happened and the only thing left to do was survive as long as I could

No sooner had I had come to that realization I came across the Saviors. I was scavenging in a abandoned  
fast food joint and all of a sudden I was surrounded by armed men. I remebered putting my hands up and sinking to  
the floor, feeling a panic attack coming on. But a man with a 70s porno mustache came forward telling the men  
to lower their guns. He said his name was Simon and said that him and his men were not going to hurt me.  
Simon took my pack and my weapons and asked me if I was scavenging for another community.

I told him the truth. I had seen other groups of people in the time I spent on the road looking for salvation, but  
I never stuck around. That was the thing about the end of the world. It made peoples true colours come out. And  
I would have rather have taken my chances with those things roaming around out there than with people who  
lost all civilization and acted like they were animals. Riding solo was the best thing to do

Simon seemed to believe what I told him and offered me to come with him to the Sanctuary. He told me it had  
power, running water, food and water. But I had to work for it. I did not care that I had to work for points for  
things I needed. At last, someplace safe to stay

It was not to long then I met Negan and agreed to marry him. For the first time in a long time. I was safe. I was happy  
and I had everything I needed. I knew what the kind of man Negan was. I had witnessed it first hand and it  
shocked and scared me to the core. But when it was just me and him, it was different, he was different. It was  
like me and Negan had been married for years. I don't know why he was so nice to me or why he favored me  
the most. I may never know. Whatever time I had left on this hell on earth at least I was going to spend it  
being loved and wanted with Negan, if he felt that way which I doubted, all this nice treatment was maybe  
because he felt sorry for me. Who cares. I loved blissful ignorance

I was pulled out of my thoughts by a knock at the door

"Come in" I said sitting up on my bed

Negan stepped in the room carrying a tray, he shut the door with his foot and lay Lucille on top of the dresser  
by the door. He set the tray on the bed beside me and sat on the end of the bed looking at me

"How do you feel baby doll" he asked

"I little better, my head still kills though" I said rubbing the small lump on the back of my head

"I brought you some pain killers with the goodies I also brought"

I turned my attention to the tray that Negan had brought me and true to his word was a medicine cup with  
two painkillers with a tall drink if water with it. I took them both and tried not to cringe. I hated taking pills,  
just the feeling of them sliding down your throat was enough to make you gag

I turned my attention to the sliver dome that was also on the tray, it sat along side a glass of fruit juice and a  
single flower

"Did you bring me those grapes you mentioned earlier" I joked

 (PART TWO????)

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

Negan grinned and reached over to lift the silver dome up, and underneath revealed a plate of steamed vegetables and a small bowl of ice cream. It was like the perfect little meal, I just wanted to devouter the steaming mixture of baby carrots, sweetcorn and broccoli. It just looked perfect 

"I remembered that you don't eat meat, I just hope I cooked this shit right"

"Wait. You cooked" I said sincerely surprised. Negan had actually cooked dinner for me

"Yeah. Doc said that you had not eaten all day. I could not let my baby girl starve. Now eat. Don't make me feed you" 

I did not need to be told twice as I scooped up the delectable looking veggies up and into my mouth

"Oh my God" I moaned in delight. I could not remember the last time I had eaten something that was cooked to perfection like this as now

"That good princess" said Negan with a wicked grin on his face 

"You sure you were not a chef before the dead walked the earth" I asked chewing slowly on the steamed heaven in my mouth 

"Baby girl there are a lot of things that you don't know I can do. If only you ate meat. I could send you to heaven with what I can do with a steak" 

"I'm sure you could babe, but sadly this is a no meat zone" I said suggesting to my stomach 

"Just out of curiosity baby, but why is that. I mean shit. Meat is like the best fucking thing ever"

"Lets just say that splitting open a corpse and spreading what was inside all over yourself to avoid detection from others is enough to put you off meat for life" 

"That is some nasty shit baby girl and I don't blame you either. Talk about risking eating it, by eating it" 

"Yeah, that and it's the safe option, because I don't trust that stuff you get it or what the hunting parties bring it. It could be carrying God only knows what. And I am not risking it by eating anything that could be contaminated"

"Both valid and intelligent reasons baby" Negan smiled, getting up from the chair and sitting next to me on the bed watching me enjoy my meal "What about fish, do you like fish"

"I love fish" 

"I'll remember that for next time baby" 

Time passed as I savoured every bite of the dinner prepared from my husband who was sitting next to me. It was only when I was sitting back on the headboard enjoying the cool, vanilla ice cream Negan said to me 

"You know we have to talk about something" 

I cringed around my spoon, knowing full well what he meant by that. But he was here with me so there was nothing to worry about. I had nothing to fear from my past life when I was with Negan

"I know, what did you do with him"

"Well me and Simon found the fucker you described to me. I knew the second I saw the big ass spider on his neck I had the right guy. He is now currently laying beaten to near death on the floor of one of the cells. Fuck me baby, he looks like he went nine rounds with Mike fucking Tyson"

"How come you have not killed him. The way you were when I told you why and what he did to me, you were ready to kill someone" 

"That fucker deserved to feel helpless before I kill him. I want him to know what it was like him to be the victim. I wanted that piece of shit of a man to know what it was like to suffer. But most of all I did it for you. That is what happens when you hurt my baby girl"

"Will you kill him" 

"Sure as shit I will kill him. It's the first time I'm doing tomorrow" 

"Not yet. I want to see him, I want him to know and feel what he did to me. I want to see him suffer for what he did to me, not just for me but the other women he hurt before and after me. I want him to see the woman I am now, not that terrified shell of a woman I was back them. But only if you are there with me"

"There is no way i would leave you alone with that pile of shit. But what my lady wants she gets. I'm in for a hell'va show tomorrow" 

"One more thing. Could you stay here with me tonight. I know it's Frankie's turn tonight, but I just don't want to me alone tonight"

"I don't think Frankie would give a crap if I skipped her tonight, you want me here princess you got it" 

I smiled at that, knowing I would be safe in the arms of my husband tonight 

\----------------------

He must be asleep now. I wondered as I wriggled in Negan's arms that were holding me in a vice like grip. I managed to get a good look up at him, he looked so peaceful and away with the world in deep sleep 

I moved slowly up to his shoulder and rested my head in the crook of his neck, under his chin. I reached up as far as I could without waking him, my lips pressing up against his salt and pepper beard

"I love you" I whispered as quietly as I could, before I rested my head back on to his chest before letting sleep take me

I did not notice the grin that Negan now had plastered on his face   


	3. Chapter 3

 

"You don't have to be here if you don't" said Negan as he held my hand that was trembling on my knee as we sat side by side on the leather couch , scratching and clawing at my dress. I was terrified 

I was about to meet the man who abused me, raped me and left me for dead in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, for the first time in a long time 

"No I don't. But I want to, I want you to see him suffer as he made me suffer" 

"There's a mean streak in you, I like that" Negan said as he pressed a kiss to my temple

I scooted closer to him my hand gripping his arm my finger nails sinking into the leather on his jacket 

"Promise you will stay with me. I'm scared" 

"I ain't leaving your side doll" 

Just then the door opened and in walked Dwight and Simon dragging behind them the battered body of my ex husband and throw him on the ground. He shuddered and convulsed like he was having a fit, most likely an after effect of the beating that Negan's boys inflected on his. He raised his head when he body finally stopped shaking enough, he took in Negan and coward in fear but when he saw me it was like he was looking a ghost. And in some way I was. He left me for dead and yet here I was very much alive and staring down at him like the animal he was    

"Baby" He stuttered out "Is that......AHHH"

Negan suddenly rose and kicked my ex hard in the guts and he toppled to the ground like a sack of bricks 

"You have the nerve to address my wife as *Baby* after what you did to her" Negan growled 

"Wife?" my ex hissed though his teeth 

"Yes" I said finding my courage standing from the couch and at Negan's side towering above the man who caused me so much pain lay crumpled on the floor, broken and helpless 

"Negan is my husband, and you are going to pay for what you did to me and to the others before me, you are finally going to know what it is to be a victim"

I felt Negan's hand gently take mine and bring it up to his lips, placing a a soft kiss on my palm 

"Damn right she's my wife. And my favourite one too, she's the fucking queen" 

I was suddenly taken back. Did Negan just say I was his favourite. I mean I knew he liked me more than the others and seemed to show genuine affection for me. A queen. did me really call me his queen  

"Now normally I give three choices to the new comers around here" Negan said starting his little speech that I could practically say word for word since I have heard it so many times like a favourite song you just keep repeating 

"But since my lovely queen has told me some things about you I just went ahead and picked that option for you. The choices were. One you end up on the fence and you work for me as a dead man, two you work for points but your gonna wish you were dead and three. You work for me and you live like a king. Can you guess what option I picked for a raping, wife beating limp dicked little prick like you" 

Negan raised Lucille and dragged her barbed end across my ex's face, fresh blood spilling from the hairline cuts 

"You, you piece of shit after I beat the holy, fuck, fuck, out of you, you are end up as one of those dead, alive pricks on the fence as my fucking home security system" 

"It's still nothing to even begin to quench my thirst for revenge for what you did to me" I said stepping slightly in front of Negan my courage building by the second 

"Not even what torches that are waiting for you in the seven gates of hell will be the least of what you deserve" 

"There's not going to be to much for the Devil when I send him down to him Baby-doll" Negan grinned his shark like grin as he watched me take on my tormentor with such a proud gaze "Look how fearless my queen is"   

He was not wrong I felt like a lioness right at this moment about to make the kill 

From his point on the ground my ex looked up at me, his eyes now crimson. Blood vessels in his eyes must have burst after that kick Negan gave him 

"Y/N....I..I.....I" He tried to chock out "I'm....s.sss.sssorry" 

I felt a rush of anger and without thought I rammed my fist into his throat as hard as I could, the rage that pulsed though me dulled my senses to the pain that now rocked in my hand. I have never punched anyone in my life. And I have to admit, it felt good. No wonder some people like to fight   

"Your not sorry for what you did to me" I hissed nursing the pain his my hand "You are only sorry that now you are being made to pay for your crimes" 

"Godamn, my baby girl with the right hook" hollered Negan as he pulled me up to his side "Damn, gonna have to get some ice on that. Simon, take this piece of shit downstairs and make him as uncomfortable as possible, and Dwighty boy. Get the iron ready" 

Simon and Dwight dragged the battered and broken in both body and mind ex husband out the door to await his fate downstairs 

"Come'on baby, lets go and see the Doc about that hand"  


	4. Chapter 4

 

Every space in the old factory floor was taken up, it was like the final of a football match. People were crammed into every available space, sitting on piled up boxes, hanging or leaning on the railings of the walkways while people sat by their feet with their own legs dangling over the side. All were ready and waiting for Negan to make his grand entrance and dish out some punishment. And that was what this normally was. Whenever someone broke the rules around here, people would gather and watch it take place willingly or not. The faces would normally be of low key symphony or just pure fear. But not today 

Word had got round the Sanctuary about who this man was and what he did. The faces today were stone faced, no one spectating felt sorry for the man hog tied to the chair in the middle of the factory floor beside and burning furnace

I stood I little to the side of my ex husband with Simon beside me. Dwight was by the furnace, waiting to be giving instruction 

"You sure you can handle this?" Simon asked, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder 

"Yeah....I'll be fine" I was lying though my teeth and I think Simon knew. This was actually the first time I was about to see Negan do what he does to people who brake the rules or cross him. Whenever he had to do this, witch was not often thank god. He always insisted I stay behind, I don't know why he felt like he needed to protect me from that. I had seen and done somethings before I married Negan and found the Saviors out there just to survive. And I have seen the evidence as well. Dwight being a prime example. But I was about to witness it now for real. A part of me wanted this to see the man who caused so my hurt to me get his face burned off, but another part was wondering if I could watch Negan do it

Everyone turned when the doors open and the tell tell whistle sounded, putting everyone on their knees including me and Simon as Negan swaggered into the room with two Saviors behind him and Lucille the ever present bat slug over his shoulder 

"Baby girl" Negan said as he walked over to me "No need for you to kneel" Negan took my hand and raised me to my feet and to his side like a proper gentleman 

He placed a soft kiss on my slightly sore hand that I used to punch my ex in the throat earlier "You sure you'r good for this Doll" 

All moral debate in my head was now gone after he said that. I now wanted nothing more than to see the skin and flesh of my ex's face melt right off him 

"Yeah...do it" 

Negan grinned "All in good time baby doll. But first a little punishment" 

Negan turned and started addressing the people gathered around 

"Well shit, normally were all here wen one of our own has fucked up, but today is a twist. I'm sure everyone here knows by now" he said as he walked around, circling the man tied to a chair 

"That piece of shit sitting right there" Negan said lowering Lucille placing it under my ex's chin forcing him to look up "Did things to my beautiful wife that is just not cool. Not. Fucking. Cool" 

Negan suddenly swung Lucille into my ex's side. People jumped and little because of the swift suddenness of it and because of the sound of his arm snapping in two 

He who had been pretty much motionless for the time suddenly let out a blood curdling scream that the echo seemed to bounce of the walls making it louder. I screwed my hands into tight balls, it was not in my nature to want to watch toture of another human, but this one was not human. He was a monster and I had to see this though

Negan repeatedly slammed Lucille down again and again on him. On his sides, shoulders, arms and legs. There was no way what not every bone in his body was not unbroken 

"KILL ME" My ex managed to scream out. I was surprised he could yell out  

Negan lowered to his level so he could look him in the eyes, using Lucille to prop him up "Oh I will. I sure as fuck will. But first your gonna suffer, your gonna feel every once of pain and terror you put my queen though the years of her life your were together. And I'm gonna do it nice and slow. Hell, maybe I'll kill you after I get a confession out of you. For a quicker death how about you confess to these people what you did, then maybe I will relieve you of your so called life" 

The place was quite for a brief second and then I heard quite laughing 

"You want me to confess. Fine. I raped your little bitch for years because I could, because she was too easy a target and would not fight back. And guess what. I'm not sorry. A if she was still with me, I'd still be doing now. Ain't that right you snivelling little bitch" 

Hearing that pure rage took over. Even before Negan could react I marched over and ripped Lucille out of his hands, raised it above my head and brought it down with as much strength as I could muster 

My ex's skull caved in like someone had just simply stepped on a snail shell and I was sure he was pretty much dead. I killed him with one blow. Blood and brain flew everywhere completely coating me in gore. But I did not stop I could not stop, I just kept on swinging till there was not much of a head left, more like a bloody stump where a head should be. Till finally I stopped. Holding Lucille post swing, covered in my ex's brains and blood even a few pieces of skull and hair were stuck to me more than the bat. I was breathing hard so primal had been my rage it was like I turned into a different person 

I looked around at the faces in the audience. It was just face after face of pure shock and disbelief. They could not believe what they had just seen 

I tuned to Negan, his leather jacket was a bit covered in the remains of my ex. And his face was just like the others, he had been taken completely off guard by what had happened. Same went for Simon, and man who had a taste for violence, stood there staring at me. And Dwight he stood there with his mouth open like a gold fish 

Even now I was shocked. What the hell did I just do? 

I looked down at Lucille still tightly grasped in my hands who had just been given a crimson paint job, thick red ribbons slid off the barbed wire and into a gathering pool that I was standing in. I must have looked like I had walked on a Quentin Tarantino movie set 

I shakily stretched out my arm to hand Lucille back to Negan. Did I really just snatch his bat off him and beat someone to death with it 

"I'm sorry. I.I...I....I. Don't know what happened" 

Negan still shell shocked by what had happened took Lucille from me in his leather gloved hand 

"Baby. You ain't got shit to be sorry about. Come on, lets get you cleaned up" 

He placed his arms around my waist and lead me out off the factory floor up towards his apartments. Leaving behind the room of shaken witnesses 


	5. Chapter 5

I was shaking like a leaf. What had I done. Seriously what the fuck have I done. I beat a man to death. Sure he was a pile of raping, wife beating trash that deserved to die. But the fact it was me that beat the whole fuck out of him and turned his brains to mush, that is what shook me. I had no idea where that episode of pure violence and rage had come from. All I saw was white and splashes of red and when I came to everyone around me was shocked and horrified. Even some of Negan's men, men that had no problem dishing out violence to people when ordered to by Negan. Looked at me with utter shock and disbelief. I had no idea what came over me. And if I'm being honest. It scared me

I was gripping the counter of Negan's bathroom trying to fight off a panic attack. I had no clue how I did not have a meltdown in front of everyone down there after what I realised what I had done. It was made harder to remain calm when my hands were covered in blood and brain matter and every time I looked up in the mirror and what stared back at me was blood splattered face and a gore covered black dress. Jesus I looked like Carrie. Really all I could do was hunch over and sob with my eyes slammed shut, how I was not on the floor rocking back and forth like someone in a padded cell was a wonder to me

I was racked in sobs I did not notice the bathroom door open and Negan stepped in. Before I knew it I was suddenly against his chest and Negan's arms wrapped around me

"Baby girl. What's up"

"I don't ....I...I killed someone" I stuttered

"Baby, he was a piece of shit that deserved more than what you just did to him. Hell I was about to do it myself for what his last fucking words were"

"I'm not saying that he he did not deserve it. He did. After what he did to me and countless other people he should have died slowly, painfully. But that's not it. It's what I did that I can't believe. I never...I..I've never"

"Was that the first non dead prick you had to kill?"

Even all that time out there with the Walkers I never had to kill someone who was still breathing, plenty of dead one but no one still alive. I came across people in groups out there sure but in this new world, a lot of them were pretty much crazy and now there was no one there to stop them anymore. Whenever I felt threatened or my life was in danger, I would just turn and run, run far away

"Yes....yes he was my first human kill"

Negan's hold got tighter around me

"But it's not that. Negan in the entire time you have known me. Did you ever think you could do such a thing"

"If I'm being honest Doll. No. I mean I'm not saying your a pussy. You were on your own out there a long time, you have to be some sort of badass to make it on your own. Not only that your fucking smart to, I bet if there was a situation if there was a danger to yourself, you would have gotten the fuck out of there and not made a stupid as fuck choice that would have gotten you killed. But what just happened. I never thought you would have done something like that. Even if the fucker deserved it"

"It was so fast and when I realised it, smelt the blood and felt it running down my face and collecting on my hands and saw all the faces of the people. It scared me Negan. It terrified me. It was like I was not me, like I became a whole new person and I had no control over what was happening"

Negan cupped my face with his hands and made me look at him

"Doll. After what that prick did to you I think anyone would have acted the way you did. But shit, you are still my favourite wife and fucking Queen. So I don't want you to worry your pretty little ass about it, your safe now baby, your safe with me"

Never in my whole life had I wanted to tell someone I love them as badly with Negan, but I restrained myself

I felt Negan unbutton my dress, before it could fall and pool at my feet I stopped it from falling by grabbing it at my chest "Negan. What are you"

"Gonna get cleaned up baby doll, unless you want to wear gore and shit" 

"Oh" I said a little embarrassed. Negan grinned his killer smile at me and started up the shower and returned to me and helped me out of bloody clothes and tossed them in the basin filled with water that turned pinkish red as the blood seeped from the fabric. Negan hoisted me on the basin counter and took off my shoes and helped me down, he steadied me when I almost slipped in a small puddle of blood that had collected 

"Easy baby doll" Negan smiled as he caught me. He lead me into the shower. The feel of the hot water over my bloody body made me feel some much better, it was like the act that had taken place earlier washed down the drain like the blood on my body. Glimpsing the red swirl down the drain reminded me of the famous Hitchcock movie 

I thought I was going to be in the shower alone but when a cold draft penetrated the warm steam I turned around to see Negan now stripped with a small stain of blood that seeped though his shirt across his torso and neck 

"Thought you might need help scrubbing your back baby girl" He said grabbing the shower gel and lathering it in his hands and then proceeded to wash my collar bones and shoulders "You like that baby" 

"Yes" I moaned at his large hands over my shoulders getting rid of the tension and gore at the same time 

"Remember baby, your safe with me. I will never let anyone do that to you ever again. I will keep you safe" 

Negan spun me around and began to wash me from behind. His hands covered in soap ran over my stomach, back and though my scalp, gently washing my hair. I felt completely at ease as Negan took care of me. I let out a gasp as Negan dipped his scruffy jaw against my neck, kissing my neck and shoulders. Negan continued to softly kiss me until he spun me around to face him. He pulled me to his chest "Do you feel any better baby"

"Yeah I'm good. Can you stay with me tonight. I know that.."

"Sure baby doll. I know what, why don't you stay in my room in my bed tonight. No offence baby but you little bed ain't no good for me. It's like a damn fold out sofa to me"

Negan shut off the water and exited the shower and wrapped me in a towel and left me to dry off, but I went into the bedroom when the sight of my bloody clothes and shoes that were still in the wash basin, it made me feel ill. I don't think I could ever wear the dress and shoes again. I will ask Negan to get rid of them in the morning 

In the bedroom Negan was dry and fully dressed and sitting on the couch. I sat down next to him and went on the dry my hair to suddenly be pulled into Negans lap only managing to stop the towel slipping off my body. He gently rubbed up and down my right leg "I'll get rid of it baby, don't think about it and remember. That fucker deserved it" 

Negan then captured my lips in a searing kiss and got off the sofa with me still in his arms. He gently put me on the bed and unwrapped the towel off my body 

"Let me help you forget what happened baby" he whispered whilst one of his hands ran over my body. I silently gasped at when he reached my breasts and cupped and rolled the soft flesh in his palm. 

I jumped up from my place on the bed and tugged his down on top of me by his shirt "I want you. Love me. Love me night" I almost chocked on what I said. Would he take the love me part too seriously and kick me out 

Negan grinned "I'll love you real good baby" he growled as he attacked my neck with biting, wet kisses 


End file.
